"Lovers & Other Strangers," If You Need A Good Laugh

Updated and expanded on February 9, 2021

 

One of my favorite performers over the years was Bea Arthur (Beatrice Arthur), who became a part of so many people's lives through two prominent roles on television. She gained major national notice in the great 1970s CBS television comedy series "All In The Family," where she played Edith's cousin and unabashed liberal, "Maude," a character who was then spun off into a television series of its own, with Bea Arthur as the star. She also co-starred in the 1970s movie version of the hit Broadway musical, "Mame," where she played Mame's best friend, Vera Charles.* She had already played that same character in the Broadway production of "Mame," a role for which she won a Tony Award. In the mid 1980s she became one of the lead performers in the hit show, "The Golden Girls," on NBC.** The show lasted into the early 1990s. Bea Arthur was a big supporter of gay rights and she left hundreds of thousands of dollars in her will to support homeless gay and transgender young people who had been forced to leave home by parents who disowned them. (NOTE: I cannot fathom how ANY parent could disown their child because that child is gay. If you are one of those parents, don't you dare hide behind religion to justify your actions by saying that something was written 5000 years ago and that's it, no changes, no adaptations, no questions, no challenges. That's total BS! Grow up, you're the real child! YOU are responsible for your own actions.) 

I first saw this movie in 1970. If you like to laugh, or need a laugh, please watch this movie. If you're under the age of about 40, you'll even get a bit of a history lesson in some of the challenges to the prevailing social mores of the late 1960s early 1970s era. I bought the VHS version of the movie when it was first released circa 1980, and DVD versions have been released in more recent times. The movie's theme song, "For All We Know," won an Oscar and became a hit for "The Carpenters" in the 1970s (they did not perform the song in the movie, as singer Larry Meredith recorded the version used in the film). "Lovers & Other Strangers" proved to be popular and it did millions in business at the box office. The movie featured an establish star, Gig Young, and several stars in the making, all of whom likely received a boost to their careers from this film:

Main Cast:

Bea Arthur as Bea Vecchio (see above for more info on Bea Arthur, who passed away in 2009, age 86.)

Richard Castellano as Frank Vecchio (Richard Castellano was nominated for an Academy Award for Best Supporting Actor in this film, and this movie led to Castellano being cast in what became the blockbuster hit, "The Godfather." He died from a heart attack in late 1988 at the age of only 55.)

Gig Young as Hal Henderson (Gig Young was a well known star when he made this movie; in fact, he had just won the Academy Award for Best Supporting Actor for his role in "They Shoot Horses, Don't They?" He had already been nominated for Academy Awards twice before. Gig Young died by his own hand at the age of 64 in 1978.)

Cloris Leachman as Bernice Henderson (Cloris Leachman was on her way to stardom, but when this movie was made, she was best known to the public from being cast on the "Lassie" television series in the latter part of the 1950s, as well as numerous other guest appearances on television shows. About a year after "Lovers & Other Strangers," Cloris Leachman won an Academy Award for Best Supporting Actress for her performance in "The Last Picture Show." She died in January 2021 at age 94.) 

Anne Jackson as Kathy (Anne Jackson was likely better known for stage performances and some television appearances when she was cast in "Lovers & Other Strangers." She died at age 90 in 2016.)

Harry Guardino as Johnny (Harry Guardino was a fairly familiar face to the public from movie and television appearances dating to the early 1950s. He died in 1995, age 69.)

Anne Meara as Wilma (When Anne Meara made this film, she was pretty well known to the public from her part in the married comedy team "Stiller and Meara," with her husband Jerry Stiller. They performed around the country and they also appeared on various television shows. She later was cast in "Archie Bunker's Place," the renamed version of "All in the Family" that aired in the early 1980s. She died in 2015, age 85. By the way, her husband Jerry makes a brief appearance in this film.) 

Bonnie Bedelia as Susan Henderson/Vecchio (When Bonnie Bedelia was cast in "Lovers & Other Strangers," she had just recently appeared in the highly popular film "They Shoot Horses, Don't They?" Later she did other films and television, earning two Emmy Award nominations, one in 1994 and the other in 2000.)

Michael Brandon as Mike Vecchio (Michael Brandon later appeared in numerous stage shows, films and television shows. He and his wife have spent many years living in Britain, where he has also made many acting appearances. 

Robert (Bob) Dishy as Jerry (Bob Dishy had appeared in a couple of movies before he was cast in "Lovers & Other Strangers," and he later made guest appearances in quite a number of television shows, including "Columbo" and as a defense attorney in "Law & Order.")

Marian Hailey as Brenda (Marian Hailey had done a little television work prior to doing, "Lovers & Other Stranger," and that television work resumed after making the movie.)

Joseph Hindy as Ritchie Vecchio (Joseph Hindy was an unknown when he appeared in "Lovers & Other Strangers," but he then began making appearances in a number of television shows, like: "Gunsmoke," "Kojak" and "Law & Order.")

Diane Keaton as Joan Vecchio (Although Diane Keaton had won acclaim on the Broadway stage, "Lovers & Other Strangers" was her film debut. Not long thereafter she was in both "The Godfather" and "The Godfather II," and then she carried on her role in the television mini-series "The Godfather Saga," and later in "The Godfather III" (Is it just me, or does anyone else sense a pattern here?) Of course, Diane Keaton is one of the best known stars in Hollywood.)

   

"Lovers and Other Strangers" centers around the marriage of two young people, Mike Vecchio and Susan Henderson, who have been living together for more than a year; a fact unknown to the parents of each. Mike begins to get cold feet and he prefers to cancel the wedding and to keep the relationship as is. In a slap in the face to values, the unwed couple rent the bridal suite at the hotel where their wedding reception is soon to be held (they tell the hotel clerk they are married). The thing is, while the young couple is hiding their relationship from their parents, their parents are also hiding things about their marriages; in fact, most of the major participants in the movie are hiding something in their lives, and viewers gradually find out the secrets. The well to do parents of the bride are Hal and Bernice Henderson. Hal is in something of a midlife crisis, and when he talks with the young people, he likes to tell them, "There's no gap," a reference to the common term of those days, "the generation gap." The Hendersons are in a great marriage on the surface, but Hal has been in an affair with another woman, Kathy, for ten years, and the approaching marriage of Susan and Mike stirs Kathy to pressure Hal for her time at the altar, but there's that problem of Bernice, a fact that causes great stress between the two lovers and causes Kathy to always run and lock herself in the bathroom and cry hysterically. Mike's parents, Frank and Bea Vecchio, are working class Italian-Americans. Their marriage also seems fine on the surface, but Frank once "strayed," and Bea never liked sex ("What's to enjoy?" she asks). On the other hand, Susan's sister, Wilma, is sex starved, as her husband, Johnny, is often too tired, so she tries to make sure their two young sons don't tire their father out. The tension between the couple frequently erupts into an argument. Further, Mike's brother, Ritchie, has been married for 6 years, but he and his wife Joan are contemplating divorce, a serious sin in the eyes of Catholic Frank and Bea, who continually browbeat Ritchie with stories of other dysfunctional couples, with each story of marital torture ending with, "but they're still together." Frank is determined to find out, "What's the story?" from Ritchie and Joan, as the idea of their unhappy marriage alone doesn't satisfy Frank. The Vecchios make all sorts of strange and nonsensical arguments to Ritchie about marriage, with Bea replying to her son's claim that he and Joan just aren't happy, with, "Don't look for happiness Ritchie, it'll only make you miserable." In spite of such pleas, their oldest son seems inclined to go through with divorce. With Ritchie heading for divorce, Mike frets about his brother's fate and his own upcoming wedding by saying, "If you don't get married, you don't get divorced." 

 

Throughout the movie we see how the Vecchios and the Hendersons have strains in their respective marriages, but after some 25 years of marriage, we also see how Bea knows Frank's ways of life, and at the wedding reception, when the waiter only puts one ladle of soup into Frank's bowl, Bea takes the soup from the shocked waiter and promptly fills the bowl, much to Frank's delight. Bea knows her husband. And Hal once tells Kathy that Bernice is boring, "All she's interested in is making a home for me and the kids, the PTA and Bloomingdale's, the A & P and the Girl Scouts." (Note: the 'PTA' is the "Parent Teacher Association;" "Bloomingdale's" is a high end department store chain, but since the time of the movie, the chain has become part of "Macy's Department Stores," although still under the "Bloomingdale's" name; the "A & P" was originally the "Great Atlantic & Pacific Tea Company," which developed into America's largest supermarket chain by about the mid 20th Century, but it went bankrupt a few years ago.) 

There are many great lines and scenes in this movie, pretty much guaranteed to bring at least a chuckle from the more staid, to raucous laughter from those less serious, although just below the surface, there's the serious question of just what makes a relationship tick. Certainly some aspects of this movie will strike a chord about your own life, past or present. There is a touching scene as Frank privately gives Mike his wedding present. As Frank tries to remain cool and calm and not ''mushy," he stumbles over his words to Mike, as his son moves on to another part of life. Similar happens in a great scene where Frank and Ritchie go outside the hotel ballroom and talk about marriage and Ritchie's pending divorce. Frank tells his son some secrets from his life. Ritchie says that he and Joan are strangers, but his dad replies, "We're all strangers... but after a while you get used to it. You become deeper strangers. That's a sort of love." Meanwhile inside, Bea and Joan are talking, and Bea tells her daughter-in-law some private moments from her life with Frank. The ending of the film has Frank and Bea sitting at a table in the then nearly empty ballroom. They have just gotten Ritchie and Joan to leave together, and they sit and contemplate married life with, "You've gotta take the good with the bad," and, "You live and learn." A calm Frank says, "I think I'll have my wedding cake now." Bea puts her hand over Frank's hand. After many an argument with Johnny, and Wilma's pursuit to keep Johnny from getting tired, we see their clothes strewn about their hotel room, and Johnny's head resting on a smiling and happy Wilma. PLEASE don't miss this movie!   

* Mame was played by Lucille Ball in the movie version and by Angela Lansbury on Broadway.

** The show also starred Betty White, Rue McClanahan, and Estelle Getty, all also supporters of gay rights.

Photo is from the 2004 MGM Home Entertainment DVD

WORD HISTORY:
Love- This word, related to the "lieve" part of "believe," ^ goes back to Indo European "leub(h)," which had the notion of "care, desire, love, something that pleases." This then gave its Old Germanic offspring "lubo," with the same meanings. Apparently the "love" meaning only took hold in West Germanic (perhaps East Germanic too, but that part of the Germanic family is now extinct), as all of the North Germanic languages use other words for "love" (see Danish below), although Norwegian and Swedish both have the adjective "ljuv," meaning "lovely, pleasant, delightful." This gave Old English (Anglo-Saxon) "lufu," with the same general meaning, and this later became "luve," before the modern version. The verb in Old English was "lufian," which meant "to cherish, to love, to take joy in." It then became "lovien" before the modern version. The other Germanic languages have various forms (I'm only using the noun forms, unless noted): standard German has "Liebe," Low German Saxon has "Leevd" (some dialects have "Leev"), Dutch has "liefde," West Frisian has "leafde," Danish (North Germanic) has the verb "forlibt," which means "to be in love, or infatuated with," but it was likely borrowed from a West Germanic language, as German has the verb "verlieben," meaning "to fall in love with, to become infatuated with." 

^ "Believe" came from the notion, "to hold something dear, to cherish," and the noun form, "belief," meant "a cherished or dear thought."