Big Man On Campus, A Real Lesson: Beauty's Only Skin Deep

Main Cast:

Allan Katz as Bob, Corey Parker as Alex, Melora Hardin as Cathy, Cindy Williams as Diane Girard, Tom Skerritt as Dr. Webster, Jessica Harper as Dr. Victoria Fisk

"Big Man On Campus" was a movie released in 1989. If you've never seen it, please watch it, it's hilarious. A man is found to be living in the bell tower of a university. He's sort of a combination "hunchback" and "Neanderthal man," with long stringy hair, mismatched clothing, and an unkempt appearance. He speaks little English, but no wisecracks about him therefore fitting in on a college campus. He speaks a strange language (see previous remark), later admitting that he just made it up (okay, one more time; see previous remark. Just teasing, college people). He has the hots for Cathy, one of the students, and if anyone dares to try to harm her, he comes bounding out of the tower building to teach them a quick lesson (you see, it was a university... a lesson... oh forget it). One of the university counselors wants the guy locked up so he'll never be heard from again, but others, including Cathy, want him to be given a chance to learn and to prove he can live in society. Cathy's boyfriend, Alex, is chosen to live with the guy and to try to teach him how to get along in the modern world. Up to that point, the guy's best friend had been a rat he's named "Mocha" or "Moocha," sorry, I'm not a Todd Akin or Michele Bachmann supporter, so I don't speak Neanderthal. Besides the rat, whatever the hell its name is, the guy loves two things: Cathy and chocolate. There's a funny scene in the university cafeteria where Alex tries to get the guy to eat a proper meal, but he tries sneaking some chocolate pudding or mousse. He then gets into trouble when Alex leaves him alone for a few minutes.

The guy gradually learns English, but he has trouble with some expressions, as he takes everything literally, although his quick progress leads him to read some of the classics of literature. The psychology professor decides it's time for the guy to have a name, thank God, as I'm tired of writing, "the guy." By that time, "the guy" is pretty far advanced, and he chooses the name "William F. Buckley," after the famous political commentator. When told that name already belongs to a famous person, he tries "William G. Buckley," only to be told to pick a name that will distinguish him from others. He picks Bob, but with a sentence long last name (I won't spoil it for you, if you haven't seen the picture), after which, he asks the professor if there's anyone famous with that name. In a touching moment, he also tells how his mother died and how he was then left all alone. People made fun of him and he went off and lived in the bell tower.

The counselor who wanted Bob locked up still wants to prove she was right in her judgment and she schemes to get him committed to an asylum. All along Bob proves himself to be brilliant, getting good grades and learning far more than anyone thought possible. This brings jealousy from some, and when Bob is lured out by the counselor, who tells him Cathy is in trouble, the police start a manhunt for Bob. While on the run there's another funny scene, where Bob peeks into a living room window of a house, and the family has the television tuned to the news. Bob hears a television reporter telling about the manhunt, only to hear the reporter get his last name wrong. Meanwhile, a talk show host, patterned after the then fairly popular Morton Downey, Jr. Show,* is ranting how Bob, and all "social misfits," should be locked up, because it's those damned liberals who want to help everyone have a chance in America. The host whips his audience into a frenzy as they pretty much call for Bob's head. The movie ends shortly thereafter, but I won't spoil it for you.

So, the movie is about a "physically deformed" man who is not nearly as deformed as his persecutors, who are warped in their minds. No, Bob is not handsome, but that doesn't affect his mind, which is shown to be topnotch, when he's given a chance to learn, and he has a good heart, compared to the small minds and heartlessness of those who oppose him. The movie's theme song is "Beauty's Only Skin Deep," which says it all.

* Morton Downey, Jr. hosted a syndicated "in your face" talk show (actually a "shout" show), giving "voice" to those angry Americans (Downey's followers were dubbed "Loudmouths") who, I'm sure, not long thereafter formed much of the core of Ross Perot's presidential bids, and undoubtedly latched onto propagandist Rush Limbaugh, who was about to gain traction back in those times. Those still around now most certainly would belong to the Tea Party (update: Trumpists). The shouting and anger displayed during the shows, often whipped up to fever pitch by Downey, was often directed at Americans who actually cared about helping those who faced poverty, medical problems, bigotry or terrible discrimination; thus, while I'm sure some portion of those trying to help people had little or no religious beliefs, they actually espoused Christian values, likely the values of other religious groups too, far more than some percentage of people who actually called themselves "Christian," or some other religious designation. To my recollection, shouting, threatening and bellowing hatred toward others isn't a religious value (certainly NOT Christian). Many guests were those who still dared to call themselves "liberals" in the age of Reagan and the early days of George Bush's presidency, when angry conservative elements referred to liberals as "the 'L' word." The sheer nastiness of the show proved to be its undoing, as advertisers feared a backlash for sponsoring it, and the show was eventually cancelled. To Downey's credit, he did stand by his gay brother, who was also HIV positive and he later admitted the show got to be too extreme. Downey may have had an awakening of sorts, as he went bankrupt not long after his show was cancelled. It's often a hell of a lot easier to spout to others, "Pull yourself up by your bootstraps," than to actually do so successfully ourselves. While he tried a comeback in several locations, including here in Cleveland, he never regained his popularity. A chain smoker who once touted tobacco use as "cool" (maybe I should say, "Kool"), Downey died of lung cancer, but not before he admitted his mistake about tobacco and he advised others not to use it, a case of too little, too late.

  WORD HISTORY:
Tale-This word goes back to Indo European "del/dal/dol," which had the meaning of  "to count, to count off (recount) events of a story." This gave its Old Germanic offspring the noun "talo," which meant "number, a reckoning of numbers." This then gave Old English (Anglo-Saxon) "talu," which meant "list of numbers or events, something told/stated (recounted), a story." This then became "tale," presumably with the final "e" being pronounced "eh/ah," before the modern pronunciation, and the meaning became more specific to "a story," although it expanded to "exaggerated, or untruthful story," with the expression "tall tale." There was once a common verb form also, which is now obviously obsolete, although it "apparently" is still used in parts of England and Scotland. The verb was "talian" in Old English, which then became "talen," and finally "tale." A variation, "tael," was the English word for "number," until "number" was borrowed from French (likely the Anglo-Norman dialect) in the late 1200s or early 1300s. Also, if you guessed that "tale" is related to "tell," you are right. Forms of the word "tale," both nouns and verbs, are extremely common in the other Germanic languages, but they often have meanings related to "number" or "reckoning," as German has "Erzählung" (story, tale, narrative),^ Dutch has "taal" (language/speech), Danish has "tale" (speech, speaking voice), Icelandic "tala" (speech, number), and the verb "tala" (to talk, to speak), Norwegian "tale" (speech, voice), Swedish "tala" (to speak) and "tal" (speech). 

^ German "z" is pronounced "ts," like the end of "hits."