A Friend in West Virginia, Part Twenty-One

I was so proud of my friend many times, because he showed maturity and he knew how to handle himself, but then his problems would take over... what a shame. While I'm sure it's not easy to control, he needs to try to control his problems, not let his problems control him; at least, not completely, as he did when fear turned him against me. A ruthless feeling it must be to have fear of yourself, and self loathing, so it makes it convenient and comforting to attribute your problems to others. It's far easier to accept yourself than to continue the torture of self loathing. He's such a great guy when he's not overwhelmed. 

WORD HISTORY:
Loathe-This verb, closely related to the adjective "loath," goes back to Indo European "leit," which meant, "do evil, do sinful deeds." This gave Old Germanic "laithanan," which gave Old English (Anglo-Saxon) "laðian/lathian" (the "ð" is called an "eth," and is equivalent to modern "th"), meaning "to be disgusting, to be worthy of hate." As you can see, the verb was used impersonally; that is, nowadays we say, "I loathe it," but in the past English speakers said, "It loathes me," but meaning, "It is worthy of being loathed by me." The German cousin to "loathe" still is used impersonally at times, that verb being "leiden," and the well known expression, "Es tut mir leid," used to express, "I'm sorry," literally means, "it does me pain." The verb then became "lothe," before the modern version. Besides German "leiden" (meaning, "to feel or bear pain, to suffer"), German also has "erleiden" (to endure or bear), Low German Saxon has "lieden" (to endure, to bear), Dutch has "lijden" (to suffer, to hurt, to smart), West Frisian has "lije" (endure, bear, suffer), Danish "lide" (suffer), Icelandic "leiðast" (to suffer boredom, to be overcome by boredom), Swedish has "lida" (suffer), Norwegian has "lider" (suffer).