An "Interview" With a Secret Yahoo Official

Hello, I'm Dan Ratherbe in Philadelphia and today I'm going to be interviewing an official of Yahoo, the American tech company, with international operations. The person prefers not to give their name or position with Yahoo. So here we go. (DR=Dan Ratherbe; SO=secret official)

DR: Hi secret official.

SO: Hi Dan.

DR: Just why are you doing this interview in secret?

SO: Well Dan, at Yahoo we operate in secret. We don't want the public to know much about us, but we want to know a lot about the public, and WE DO; at least those who have a Yahoo email account. By the way, you haven't used your Yahoo email account lately Dan, why?

DR: Well I like my privacy.

SO: Why? You have something to hide?

DR: Never mind, S.O. I may call you S.O.?

SO: Oh yes, please do, but I'd still like to know what you're hiding.

DR: We've heard numerous complaints about Yahoo, including about Yahoo reading the emails of its customers. Yahoo has had some financial fallout. How do you plan to correct that?

SO: Well there's no question, we've got to do a better job. After all, look at you. You haven't been using your email account and how the hell do you expect us to know what ads to target to you, if you don't use your account.

DR: Target ads to me? Like what?

SO: Well let me see what we have on you... check R..... here it is, Ratherbe, Dan... Hmm, wow, that's a pretty interesting username, "superstud."

DR: Hey, wait a second, you're telling my info in public!

SO: Yes, but the public can't see these pictures... Are those all Calvin Klein undies? Well, definitely no CK's in this pic, or any other brand either. I take back my earlier question about what you're hiding.

DR: Hey! That's enough of this.

SO: All right, all right. But see, now we know to target you with ads for underwear...  when you're using them.

DR: You see just how a person's private info can get out into the public?

SO: That's definitely the right term with you, private info.

DR: Let's get back to how you're going to clean up your act.

SO: YOU'RE telling US to clean up OUR act? I'd say that's pretty naked hypocrisy, if you'll pardon the expression.

DR: These were supposed to be private emails. Answer the question, we only have a few seconds.

SO: We at Yahoo work every day to earn our name. We work hard, so that no person on Earth can say we're not a bunch of Yahoos.

DR: And it most certainly shows, S.O.

WORD HISTORY:
Chatter-The ultimate origin of this word is unknown, but it apparently is a Germanic invention, seemingly imitative of sound. English at various times had "cheteren," "cheateren," "chiteren," then "chateren," all with the general meaning, "to chatter, to jabber." There are forms in other Germanic languages: German has "kaudern," meaning, "to speak gibberish, speak but not be understood;" Dutch has "koeteren," meaning, "to jabber, to chatter," Flemish has "schateren," meaning "chatter, jabber," Danish has "kvidre," meaning, "to chirp, to twitter," Icelandic has "kvak," meaning, "to twitter."